What Caretaking Means

*Post disclaimers: I wrote this post in light of what I had been "noodling" on over the last season, but after I had written the "first edition" of this article, I was concerned that it sounded more like a "sob-story" and that it appeared I was simply expressing myself, asking for pity. Thus, this disclaimer, at the wise suggestion of my sister (Thank you, Olivia). 

First, if you read this article and it sounds only too familiar because you are in the caretaking season, I want this post to be an encouragement to you. I want you to be reminded that you are not alone, that others are walking this road with you, that caretaking is very hard, that Christ has sovereign control over your life and seasons, that there are great spiritual blessings for your service, and that there is a crown of glory awaiting you for your faithfulness. And if you want to reach out to me as a fellow caretaker, please do so.

Secondly, for those of you who are reading this article but who are not in a season of caretaking, to help you (perhaps) understand, to a degree, what others, who are caretakers, are going through. We do not compare pain, but we are called to bear the burdens of others, and so if this helps you gain a better understanding of the season that someone in your life is in, I am glad. And I hope that you will walk in that understanding by taking a few minutes to send a note of encouragement, drop off some muffins, or simply pray for them.  

Hmm. Caretaking. 

As I mentioned in the last Family Update post, my grandmother moved in with us at the end of April. Though family began the caretaking journey over five years ago, a good part of that time, my grandmother lived a few hours away from us. Although my mom was highly involved in her care, it was in a long-distance way, with regular visits, as my aunt and uncle lived just minutes from Grandma. When my aunt passed away unexpectedly 2 years ago, we knew that life was over as we knew it, and within a month of her passing, I began to clean out and pack up Grandma's home with the view to sell it with the understanding that Grandma would move to us (she was living in an Alzheimer's clinic at the time of my aunt's death). As our home was not in a position for the arrival of Grandma, we began to build an apartment onto the house...which took us a great deal longer than we would have hoped, so despite the apartment being uncompleted, Mom felt it best to go ahead and bring Grandma home...which we did at the end of April. Since then, it has been a new journey. There have been moments of laughter and times to mourn. We have had to find a new normal and been stretched in new ways we did not expect to. God NEVER wastes anything or any season and has used Grandma in the lives of our entire family to grow us, reveal sin in us, sanctify us, challenge us, and press us more into the beautiful and perfect image of Jesus Christ. So yes, in a way this article surrounds Grandma, but it is really more about Jesus, His sovereign will, His enduring faithfulness, and the many and perfect tools He uses (as insignificant as they may appear), to chisel away the rough and fleshly parts of us so we can reflect His beauty and glory more brilliantly. 

Caretaking means ministry

It does. Caretaking is a ministry. It is a beautiful ministry; it is eternal if it is done with the right heart, but it is a ministry. A different aspect of ministry, but it is still very much a ministry. It means waking up before you feel ready, it means preparing 3 meals a day for someone who may or may not be appreciative, it means answering the same question multiple times, it means being sweet even when you are having a tough day, it means getting up to help with something even when you are in the middle of a project, it means ministry. It means setting aside something for the greater good of another. According to Webster's 1828 dictionary, "ministry" means "The office, duties, or functions, of a subordinate agent of any kind." When I chose to take God at His word and accept the payment of Jesus Christ's death on the cross for my sin, I was given a new identity, and the old power of the flesh was exchanged for the power of God; thereby, I was placed under new leadership. My choice of ministry is not my own, but it is divinely and lovingly charged to me. So, accept the ministry of caretaking. Accept it with joy, remembering that it is a holy calling and eternal in the sight of God. The ministry of caretaking is not more illustrious than others, nor is it "less-than". Some ministries are not obvious and in the open; some are the quiet, sanctifying choices that make us more like Jesus. So, personally, would I love well in the ministry of caretaking as Jesus would love. He came not to be served, but to serve and humbled Himself, the King of Eternity, to the form of a mere human man. If Jesus could serve in such a way, why should I, who have taken on the new identity of being in Christ, not do the same? 

"So after He had washed their feet, and had taken His garments, and was set down again, he said unto them, Know ye what I have done to you? Ye call me Master and Lord: and ye say well; for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another's feet. For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you. Verily, verily, I say unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord; neither he that is set greater than he that sent him." John 13:12-16

Caretaking means dying 

It does, it so does! Dying to the old part of me called "self". Oh my goodness, the dying that caretaking requires! It means being embarrassed by loud whispers at inopportune times, it means choosing to pull out your earbuds and engage instead of remaining in your "me time", it means setting aside goals for the day to be available to fill needs, it means having a different schedule, it means that holidays and birthdays are no longer the same, it means taking longer to grocery shop, it means being misunderstood by others who have no concept (through no fault of their own) of what you are going through, it means loosing the grandmother that once was, it means patiently explaining a movie plot or a conversation, it means dying to that proud and illustrious thing that is called my flesh so that Christ may shine forth more brightly in me. It means choosing to set aside, to lose what is comfortable, what is natural in the flesh, so that another may benefit and be blessed. It is a wonderful and painful work. And believe me, the sin that the Holy Spirit reveals to you in caretaking! Caretaking does not cause the sin; it is not responsible; it is merely the tool that the Lord allows to reveal the sin that already resides in my fallen nature. Thus, I can be thankful for caretaking. I can humbly sit back and acknowledge that this was needful, it is needful, for the sin in me hinders a more sanctified servant, it hinders me from growing more like the image of Christ, and He knows how much further I have to die to grow.

"Thou therefore, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus...Thou therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ...But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver, but also of wood and of earth; and some to honor, and some to dishonor. If a man therefore purge himself from these, he shall be a vessel unto honor, sanctified, and meet for the master's use, and prepared unto every good work." 2 Timothy 2:1, 3, 20-21

A Saturday morning recently, I received the news that Mom and Hope were going to need to run an errand for some needed supplies for the house build. That meant my day was suddenly changed as I would have full responsibility of Grandma, and that morning I felt more like burying myself in a hole much less enter into full caretaking mode. "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." (Philippians 4:13) is one of the Christian's clique verses. We put it on coffee mugs, stickers, Sunday School room walls, and bookmarks, but I never want to loose the relevancy and strength of those passages of scripture. It is the real and living word of God and can be claimed and trusted in for help. That was the passage I leaned upon that Saturday morning, clique though it may be, and I found it ready and strong enough to lift me up and support me through the day. 

"And lest I should be exalted above measure...there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure. For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. And He said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for My strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong." 

2 Corinthians 12:7-10 

Family Life - March-April 2025

And...it is August and here I am posting about March and April! Better late than never, but I feel that is a theme in my life right now, whether it is cleaning a bathtub or answering a text message. =) I digress...                                                         March and April were full months as the amount of pictures shows, and I did not even post all that I had! A good deal of March was taken up with the continued fight of chicken pox. Olivia and Hope recovered after a valiant fight, and then Ella, Leah and Joel succumbed to it within days of each other, which although difficult on them and the "nursing" staff, was a blessing to have it all over with in one fell swoop. We were all released from quarantine in time for my sister, Emma, and her family to arrive for a visit from North Carolina. During that same week, we jumped back into the full swing of house build, which had been stalled since New Years due to circumstances and winter weather. The next 6 weeks were crazy as we worked, alongside our amazing contractors, busting and sorting bricks, digging rocks in the crawl space under the house and cleaning up shingles and insulation. It was an intense season, but we have some incredible memories from them. 

    And to finish it all up, at the very end of April, Mom and I made the 12 hour trip to bring Grandma home to live with us. 

I will allow the pictures to depict the story...

So without further adieu... 

This little baby's mama could not seem to get it through her head that 
she was now fully responsible for this chuck of sweetness. In the midst of 
trying to convince her, Hope and I stopped for a picture. 

Catching a sibling picture before Caden returned to college after 
spring break.

Busting brick off of the jut-outs that were going to be torn down.

The guys pushed the shingles off, the girls picked them up!

Hanging plastic in the rooms to try to keep as much dust out as possible.

The longed for promise of spring!

After spending several days with us, Emma and her family were about 
to load up in the car to return home when James (2 1/2 years) took a fall. 
X-rays showed a broken femur and after a hospital visit, an ambulance ride, 
a night at another hospital, and an operation later, James came home. We kept
Caleb with us until they were all able to return to NC, taking Olivia with them to
help get things settled. Update: James had the cast taken off on time and everything 
looks healed and he is walking normally!

We laugh now that at the beginning of this project, we would count
the bricks as we stacked them on pallets. Somewhere along the way, we 
completely abandoned this organizational technique.

By far, one of the top worst projects we had was to dig up and haul
out the rocks in the crawl space under the house in preparation for
encapsulating. Now that it is over, we have some amazing memories
of doing it together, and those I know, we will never regret.

We took a family outing to Olive Garden for Mom's birthday at 
the end of April.

"The eternal God is thy refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms..." Deuteronomy 33:27

The Keeper

Recently, I added another "piece" to my daily devotion time with Jesus. I began choosing an attribute/character quality of the Lord Jesus Christ, selecting a scripture(s) that confirm that attribute, and then just journaling a few sentences of personal thought. It has been such a sweet and meaningful addition to my time with the Lord, and the characteristic and/or the scripture has been a blessing to recall to mind during the day as a ready truth to claim. I encourage the beginning of the simple discipline of taking a rhema (truth) and making it your own for the day.

Not long ago, the Lord reminded me of the passage Psalm 121:5, and so for the next two days, I dwelt on the attributes of Christ that the scripture shows and what an encouragement they were to my heart.

"The Lord is thy keeper: the Lord is thy shade upon thy right hand." Psalm 121:5

Keeper-

Definition: to hedge about (as with thorns), guard, to protect, attend to, observe, preserve

Supporting scripture: "In whose hand is the soul of every living thing, and the breath of all mankind." Job 12:10

Application: Though I do not always "feel" Him near, I can rest and be satisfied knowing I am kept in the Father's hands. He is my keeper, the One who holds my way and upholds me in the path. He hedges me about and protects me. So trust in the Keeper, oh, faint of heart. Thy way is guarded securely, and fear no longer has to have hold of you. 

Shade-

Definition: (the idea of hovering over), shadow, to shade

Supporting scripture: "As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste." Song of Solomon 2:3

Application: Sitting in the shadow of His presence and His Word, I am rested, I am refreshed, and refueled for the next moments. In His shade, I am quieted and renewed by His Word and truths. He overshadows me with His love. 

"For the Lord God is a sun and shield: the Lord will give grace and glory: no good thing will He withhold from them that walk uprightly." Psalm 84:11

"Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord." Psalm 27:14

Draw Me Closer to Thee

Draw me closer to Thee.

When the storms fly around,

And the waves o’er me roll.

I am safe in Your arms,

In the arms of Your love.

Draw me closer to Thee.

Draw me closer to Thee.

Satan’s darts may abound,

But Your armor I wear.

Protected by faith

And sustained by Your grace.

Draw me closer to Thee.

Draw me closer to Thee.

I can trust You, my Lord,

With the plans, you do write.

Your word will prevail

To the end of the age.

Draw me closer to Thee.

Draw me closer to Thee.

Though in darkness I walk,

My soul, You restore.

Your mercies are new

Every dawn that arises.

Draw me closer to Thee.

Draw me closer to Thee,

Near You would I dwell.

Unashamed of Your name,

Satisfied in Your love;

Your voice bringing joy.

Draw me closer to Thee.

Draw me closer to Thee.

When one day You will come,

And gather all to Yourself,

I will forever sing,

For I’ll be closer to Thee. 

Esther and the King

    One morning, I do not remember exactly when, my morning devotions ended up focusing on the story of Esther, and I began drawing correlations between the account of Esther and her interactions with King Ahasuerus, and my relationship with God Almighty. There is so much that can be learned and applied from Esther and the character she displayed. One can only grow in respect for her when placing oneself in her shoes, imagining what she lost in her forced removal to the king's palace (family, community, safety, etc.) and what she must have felt when the reality of what was going to be required dawned upon her.
    

    The story of Esther is a familiar one. King Ahasuerus, a king remembered in history for his ruthless and deplorable character, gives a feast for his princes and servants of the realm of Media and Persia. When his desire for Queen Vashti to come to the feast arrayed in the royal crown (there is discrepancy of exactly what the request required and whether Vashti was correct in her denial, but that is a subject for a another study), she refuses and in a fit of anger, King Ahasuerus repeals the queenship from Vashti. To appease the situation, the king's servants suggest that virgins be found to satisfy the king's lusts, and in that way, Esther is brought into the king's palace.  After living for a year in the house of the women, each maiden went to the king in the evening and, in the morning, was taken to the house of the king's concubines, to live out the rest of her years, most likely never to be in the presence of the king ever again. Esther, however, upon finding favor with King Ahasuerus, is made queen in place of Vashti. Following this, the king places Haman, an Agagite, as head of all the princes, and Haman wishing the Jews to be destroyed for the reason that Mordecai, Esther's uncle, did not give him the honor he desired, beguiles the king into agreeing to have a government-funded genocide of the Jewish nation. Mordecai, hearing this, goes into mourning for such a decree of destruction and refuses the clothing Esther sends to him, and it is then that she, too, learns of the decree against the Jews and herself among them. Mordecai entreats her to intercede for their people before the king, and after 3 days of fasting and prayer, Esther prepares to go to intercede for the Jewish nation before King Ahasuerus. This is the beautiful part of the story where the spiritual correlations are made. 

#1

"Now it came to pass on the third day, that Esther put on her royal apparel, and stood in the inner court of the king's house, over against the king's house: and the king sat upon his royal throne in the royal house, over against the gate of the house." Esther 5:1

    Esther did not choose to clothe herself in her old apparel of a Jewish maiden to show her humility and her gratefulness for the position that King Ahasuerus had exalted her to. No, she selected the apparel that was her's because she was queen. It was royal, costly, elegant, and beautiful. The king had a right to enjoy her in the apparel he had bestowed upon her because of her position. Just so with us. As daughters of the King of all the earth, we who are in Christ, in God, have been given new robes of righteousness and glory. 

"I will greatly rejoice in the Lord, my soul shall be joyful in my God; for he hath clothed me with the garments of salvation, he hath covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decketh himself with ornaments, and as a bride adorneth herself with her jewels." Isaiah 61:10

And earlier in the same chapter of Isaiah, speaking of Jesus Christ...

"... to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified."

    There is a good and proper place to have a humble attitude before the Lord. To remember where we were, broken sinners, unable to do anything to earn our way to heaven, until the sacrifice of Jesus Christ's death on the cross dawned upon our hearts and we were justified in the sight of God by the acceptance of that sacrifice. However, we should not live there! We have been made saints in Jesus (Ephesians 2:19)! We are made holy, pure, sanctified, and justified in the sight of God through Jesus Christ (1 Corinthians 6:11), and we should revel in that, take great joy in that, not still live in the "pig pen" when we have been made daughters of the king! Humility, yes, but it is the work of Christ done for us, not anything that we have done, and in that we should take great joy and glory in. We can humbly walk daily in the glorious garments of holiness and glorify the Giver by appreciating the royal robes that He bestowed on us. The book of Ephesians is a beautiful book to read, memorize, and meditate on for reminders of what we have received in Jesus. And may the Lord grow in all of us a humble glory for the holy and royal garments that we are clothed in because of HIM!

#2

"And it was so, when the king saw Esther the queen standing in the court, that she obtained favour in his sight: and the king held out to Esther the golden sceptre that was in his hand. So Esther drew near, and touched the top of the sceptre." Esther 5:2

 

    Esther, arrayed in her queenly, royal robes, stands in the outer court of the king and receives the favor of King Ahaseurus, who extended the royal sceptre towards her so that she was able to come near to him to present her request. Just with us and God Almighty. We now have constant and available access to God in Christ because of Christ. Jesus is the "Sceptre", the sceptre of justification and restoration of our relationship with God the Father. 

"Wherefore in all things it behoved Him to be made like unto His brethren, that He might be a merciful and faithful high priest in things pertaining to God, to make reconciliation for the sins of the people." Hebrews 2:17

I see that there are 2 points of application from this correlation. First, the "sceptre" of the sacrifice of Jesus is extended to us as guilty sinners as our access to a restored relationship with the Father.

"But now in Christ Jesus ye who sometimes were far off are made nigh by the blood of Christ. For he is our peace, who hath made both one, and hath broken down the middle wall of partition between us..." Ephesians 2:13-14

When we come near and touch the "sceptre" of Jesus Christ and accept it as the full payment for our sin, then our relationship is restored to the Father, and we have peace with God through Jesus Christ (Romans 5:1-2).

    Secondly, because of the restored fellowship between us and God the Father through Jesus Christ, we can come forward boldly, entering into the privilege of fellowship with God. Through our "Sceptre", our mediator, Jesus Christ, we draw near to God, and we are welcomed by God because of the reconciliation that Jesus' death on the cross obtained for us (1 Timothy 2:5). Beautiful truth! Enter into a vulnerable and loving relationship with your Heavenly Father, which is made available to you. Make Him your confidant, your best and nearest friend. He desires such tender and close fellowship with each of us. Will we stay afar off, still living in the shadow of the law, or will we joyfully walk in the New Covenant and glorify Him by enjoying the freedom and fellowship that His sacrifice purchased for us? 

"Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way, which He hath consecrated for us, through the veil, that is to say, His flesh; and having an high priest over the house of God; let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience, and our bodies washed with pure water." Hebrews 10:19-22

Fundraiser for Mother's Day!

This is late, but I thought I would post it anyway. The pro-life ministry that I volunteer with, Speak for the Unborn, is doing a Mother's Day fundraiser! At S4U, we believe motherhood is a beautiful gift and should be celebrated. One of our goals is to encourage the growth of motherhood by equipping churches to be able to graciously and confidently share the life-saving message of the gospel (because isn't the gospel pro-life, spiritually and physically?) to those who are pro-choice or considering having an abortion themselves.

Gifts to Speak for the Unborn allows the ministry to continue providing churches with practical tools to be equipped to share the gospel truth with those who do not see the God-given value of unborn life and motherhood. 

For more information on the work of Speak for the Unborn, please go to speakfortheunborn.com.

If you have a mother (physical or spiritual) in your life "who has everything", please consider giving a donation to S4U in their honor. If the amount is over $50, we will mail you (for an additional $5) a special feminine gift box which includes hand lotion, lip balm, a face mask, tea, information about S4U, and more!

Even if you are not able to join in the fundraiser, would you pray for Speak for the Unborn as they press forward with the desire to see souls and babies saved? Precious lives are slaughtered every day, and the church needs to be a voice for the voiceless. Pray (and vote) for the ending of this government-protected massacre. 

"Open thy mouth for the dumb in the cause of all such as are appointed to destruction. Open thy mouth, judge righteously, and please the cause of the poor and needy." 

Proverbs 31:8-9.

Family Life - January-February 2025

January and February could be summarized in 1 word: "winter storms". Well, technically, that was 2 words, but who is counting? =) Our first storm blew in the first full week of January, and it felt like after that storm followed storm, complete with freezing rain, wet ground, frigid temperatures, cold winter winds, ice, and snow. It was a true Kentucky winter! We were able to put the cattle with the highest needs in our renovated poultry buildings for shelter, for which I am so grateful. Though winter storms are hard, they cultivate some of the greatest memories and sibling bonds, another blessing for which I am thankful. 

In early February, Dad came down with singles, and a few weeks later, Olivia and Hope broke out with chicken pox. Not too long after, the rest of the kids followed suit, but that is moving ahead into March. Mom would say when we were little that if we knew of someone who had chicken pox, we would go visit so we would catch it and get them over with. This never happened, though, and although it was a very challenging season of illness and itching, the Lord provided, and it was a blessing that the kids got them relatively close together, and it was not prolonged any more than it was.  

For the other details of January and February, I will let the pictures tell the rest of the story....

There are some winter days when we wake up and do not understand
how the cattle made it through the night alive, only by God's mercy.

I had this "picture-esque" idea of doing a gingerbread house with the kids, 
and when I found one for a decent deal, I got it during the holiday season. 
However, December passed, and it never happened, so one evening in January, 
we broke it open for a sibling project. It turned out to be quite a house, and we 
discovered that none of us will be professional bakery decorators! =)

One Saturday, we sisters took off for town to do some shopping and 
drop into the local coffee shop!

January 20th - thankful for the sovereignty and mercy of God on our country.

Hope and Joel braving the winter weather

Mom and I drove out to visit Grandma at the end of January.

One of the decent days...

For my birthday, back in the fall, Joel gifted me with dinner out with him,
but by mid-February, we had yet to have our "date". So the night before
Valentine's Day, we went out for dinner (we tried Blaze Pizza for the first
time...highly recommend) and got a bundt cake from Nothing Bundt Cakes
and ate it on the way home after doing some shopping. Joel has such a 
sensitive heart toward us girls, and along with Dad, spoils us on 
Valentine's Day.

The quality of this picture is not good, but there is nothing like witnessing
a new life emerge and begin in the world. It is beautiful every time, 
and it is a privilege to watch God-given instinct in nature.

Though we do not have house dogs, when the girls had chicken pox, we would
bring Peaches in to make visits and cheer up the sick ones.

"And ye shall eat in plenty, and be satisfied, and praise the name of the Lord your God, that hath dealt wonderously with you: and my people shall never be ashamed. And ye shall know that I am in the midst of Israel, and that I am the Lord your God, and none else: and my people shall never be ashamed." 

Joel 2:26-27