Being a Seed Planter

I am a stinky gardener. I wish I could say that our family gardens proficiently and that every vegetable we eat is grown in our own garden, but I can’t. Our family has attempted many gardens over the years. We have tried gardens in our yard, in the field, next to our barn, in raised beds and in pots and yet…nothing. A few years ago I decided to be the picturesque daughter and garden myself. That was the year we plowed a plot next to the barn. Mom and I shopped for plants, we fertilized it with our own special farm fertilizer that we manufacture ourselves here on location =), I de-rocked the plot and I planted my plants. I was very adventurous and I had quite a variety. 2-3 different varieties of tomatoes, yellow and red watermelon, zucchini, yellow squash, 2 kinds of cucumbers, peppers, and cantaloupe. After planting in May, I had my wisdom teeth removed and only a week later left for Indiana to serve at a young women’s conference. By the time I got back into the swing of gardening, wonderful little creatures called squash bugs had taken over and eaten my garden. Sadness. =(

I am so thankful the Lord doesn’t base my eternal “gardening” on my vegetable gardening.

Last summer, I met a young lady, who is very special to my heart, named “Mary”. I had gone to a week-long historical girls camp kinda thing. This young lady and I were roommates along with three other girls (they were large rooms). The second morning, she and I were downstairs and after setting the table for breakfast, we ended up on a conversation of spiritual things prompted by the prayer books sitting on the side table. She shared she was a gothic atheist. I began to prompt her to share more of her beliefs and why she didn’t think there was a God. She closed the conversation saying it was too early for religious conversations.

Later in the day, I asked if we could reopen the discussion to which she agreed. I began to ask questions to and shared the truth and the evidence that there was a God who created, loved, and died for her. As we progressed in the visit, her eyes were down and she was crying. Out of the blue, I said: “You are so beautiful.” She sat up, crying harder, and said she didn’t receive compliments very often. Now I was crying! The conversation was over, we hugged and I told her I loved her, but her “door” was closed. We finished off the week and went our separate ways.

The other girls put together a group chat and so I was able to keep up with “Mary” via the group chat. I wrote her letter and received no reply. In March, I wrote another letter, this time I did receive a response, on the group chat. She said she didn’t want my letters, she didn’t appreciate them or ever had.

So, that door was closed. Personal communication was cut to nothing and I had been hurt, but through all of that, my love for “Mary” only grew. She became a very important part of my prayer life. I envisioned her finding Christ and allowing me to help her begin a new life with Christ. I cried imagining it. The joy of a new babe in Christ. 

Then one day, the Lord taught me something, by asking a hard question of me.

Would I be content to be a seed planter?

That question took some wrestling on my part.

Ohhhhh……ummmmm……wow, Lord, that’s not really what I had in mind. I mean, I don’t mind working and praying for others, but I would really like to see the results of those prayers, the outcome of my work.

But that is not always what our Lord has in mind. Sometimes He asks us to keep on praying, to keep on working, to keep on travailing, without seeing the results of that work sometimes ever.

That isn’t easy. I at least like to see the picture of my dessert before I begin making it just so I have an idea of what I am aiming toward, I have a picture of what the result will be through my labors.

That isn’t how our Lord works. He says, “You plant the seeds that I direct, I will bring in the harvest.” I love the verse in 1 Corinthians:

“ I have planted, Apollos watered; but God gave the increase.” 1 Corinthians 3:6

We have not been called to be harvesters, we are called to be seed planters and sometimes we don’t even get to see the fruit of our labors till eternity.

So, I keep praying for “Mary”. I haven’t given up on her and never will. I love her, but she has a Heavenly Father who loves her even more. I am her seed planter.

Don’t become discouraged being a seed planter.

Without a seed, there is no harvest.

Plant on!

My Older Brother

For as long as I can remember I have always wanted an older brother. Someone who cares over me, watches over me, guards me against “bothersome beaus”, understands me, holds me when I am crying, is sensitive to all my feelings, in short, is the perfect brother.

I don’t have an older brother. I have a wonderful older sister and I am not in any way diminishing the beauty and joy of older sisters, but there is just something about an older brother. I was talking about this subject recently with my pastor’s wife, who also is without an older brother, and I asked why there seems to be such a charm about older brothers. She said it is because of it of the nostalgic feeling in the books we read. Anybody else feels that way? I mean is so many books and movies, we are surrounded by “perfect” older brother/sister relationships.

I mean just run through them.

1.       Mr. Darcy and Georgianna (Pride and Prejudice)

2.       David and Sarah Jacobs (Newsies)

3.       Henry and Eleanor Tilney (Northanger Abbey)

4.       Luke and Leia Skywalker (Star Wars)

I know there are more and if you think of others, let me know, but at 10:00pm, after a long day, my mind can’t come up with anymore right now.



But case in point, right? In so many brother/sister relationships we see in movies or read in books, they get along with great, the brother is so caring over his sister and when we see them interacting together, we just want to say “Awwwwww.”

So you don’t have an older brother? Well, what about the next best thing? A young man who would be willing to take the place of that older brother. Someone who would step into all those rolls you are desiring filled. Several years ago, I set out on a quest to answer that question. Was it possible to find a young man who could fill that role for a young lady? I talked with my dad, my pastor, and his wife and asked their opinions.

Really it boiled down to this question. Was it possible for an unrelated young man and a young lady to have a “brother/sister” relationship?

I was not only dealing with this question myself, but I was also observing it as well. I was also seeing such a situation for myself. They were two young people, although the young man was several years older than the young lady, who were constantly together. The young lady had no brothers at all, and that besides enjoying the company and attentions of a very nice young man. They were frequently seen together, laughing talking, and joking. They acted so familiarly together that as my sister said, after watching them interact as church counselors, if she hadn’t have known them, she would have assumed they were courting/dating!

I remember talking with my dad about all this and after listening to me he said he didn’t think it possible for a young man a young lady to have that kind of relationship without one or both parties having expectations of “future developments.” Could there be an exception, yes, but as my dad also says, “the exception proves the rule.”

So, my hopes were dashed that it was possible for that relationship to exist.

But just recently, through something my mom said, I realized a very important truth.

I already had what I was dreaming of!

What I was looking for was right in front of me!

I had an Older Brother!

Jesus Christ was my Older Brother!

God is our Father, Jesus Christ is His Son, I am adopted into the family of God and so Jesus is my Brother!

Although this may seem like a very elementary truth, it was a big “apostrophe” (our families term for “epiphany”) for me.

I already had an ELDER BROTHER!!!!!!!!

Girls, are you searching for this relationship? Have you been in a wrong relationship-seeking fulfillment?

Our fulfillment comes from no one, but CHRIST.

Enjoy this relationship. He enjoys you. He wants to be for you and me what we are looking for other guys to fulfill for us.

And best of all, He fulfills all those desires perfectly!

We have the perfect older Brother!

Love Him more!

Fix Our Eyes On Jesus

Living in God’s will. There is nothing like the delight of knowing you are walking the path that the Lord has outlined for you. It is truly fulness of joy.

This area is one of those kinds of things like “I would be a great mother if it weren’t for my kids!” For my purpose today let’s change it a bit, “I would be a great follower of Jesus if it weren’t for the world!” I mean, seriously, I would be an awesome Christian if the world didn’t keep getting my off track!

It sounds ridiculous when said like that, but, that is often how I can live. Following Christ is wonderful, until people get involved. I can be so enthusiastic about the calling I have received from Jesus, but all of a sudden I am talking to someone else about my dreams and something happens.

My bubble pops. My balloon deflates. My enthusiasm is gone.

Being a daughter at home isn’t all that I envisioned it to be. The books made it all sound, well rather glamorous. To be a virtuous daughter at home, to serve your family wholeheartedly while waiting for "Princy" to ride up, was all there was after high school. However, soon reality hits. “Oh, so this is what being a stay-at-home daughter really is.” The glamour fades (or never existed).

Then there is prison ministry. I love, LOVE prison ministry!!!!! It has changed me forever and I have watched other’s lives be forever changed, but it isn’t conventional. It isn’t what most 20-year-old girls do. So, there is the proverbial conversation.

She is a sweet looking grandmotherly type, intrigued by your unusually large family in skirts all trooping in like ducks. She makes general inquiries, but soon it turns to other waters. “So, what do you do? Have you finished high school? Are you going to college?” (This last question comes because I don’t look my age. Traditionally if I was going to college, I would be halfway through!) “Well, I have graduated, but I am not planning on going to college. I am just at home right now with my family. I enjoy being at home. I teach Sunday School, and help out in the home and am involved in prison ministry.”

“Oh.” That answer about sums it up. Yup. No glamour, no awards, no accolades, no degrees. No one really knows what to do with that answer, especially the prison ministry part.

One night I came home discouraged. We had been to a cattle talk dinner and I came home defeated. I had been talking to that nice lady figure and the usual question had been asked and answered with my usual answer, but I allowed Satan to come in and before I knew it, lies were planted and believed. In tears, I sat on my parent's bed as I poured out my sad story to my wonderful mother. She listened but didn’t allow me to sit in my self-pity. She spoke the truth and prayed over me and allowed the Holy Spirit to do the rest.

Again it happened at Thanksgiving. I had been talking to my grandmother about some of my secret plans that had been growing in my head and my enthusiasm showed as I beamed about how content I was with life and with singleness. I was very confident in His will at that moment, but then later after a conversation with my sister about some of her future dream and plans, it all changed.

Suddenly, my total perception has changed because my perspective has changed. No longer was I excited about the life that was being laid out before me, I was discontented and discouraged because I didn’t have the life or future of another.  

As I mulled this over with the Lord, I came to realize a very important truth.

I lost my view of Jesus.

 This isn’t a new issue. It is an issue that began back in the garden. Eve lost perspective of what really mattered. We can look at Eve and be like “Come on girl! Get it together! You have everything! The perfect marriage, the perfect relationship with your Creator, the perfect house with the perfect décor, I mean, really? You have EVERYTHING, and you lost it all for a lousy piece of fruit! Wassup woman?”

The answer is simple. She lost the perspective of God. She lost everything worth having because of she lost sight of what she had really been created for.

That is so what I do. I can lose sight of everything worth having over a lousy piece of “fruit”. When people get in the way, when I care more the affirmation of men than I do of my Creator, I have lost sight of my Jesus and I am eating that “fruit” that I think will satisfy me, but in reality only causes me grief and never will satisfy me like my Creator can.

So, He has been teaching me to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus.

I have been given a great commission, the greatest commission. To glorify God and enjoy Him forever. My calling has been tailor-made for me! So who cares if the world disagrees or mocks or thinks I am crazy? I want to be crazy! Crazy in love with Jesus and His calling on my life.  I am a runner headed toward the goal line, I don’t stop for anything. Nothing detains me. Nothing holds me back. Nothing distracts me. I have been given a race to run and I want to run well.

Don’t hold back, girls because of what others think. Run the race well. Run with patience and you will receive the lasting and eternal reward.

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus……